Magic Mike (2012)
review
Director: Steven Soderbergh.. Actors: Channing Tatum: Mike Martingano · Matt Bomer: Ken · Alex Pettyfer: The Kid · Matthew McConaughey: Dallas ·
My bff and I went to check out what we hoped to be a entertaining movie. We had seen the Magic Mike trailers with all these handsome men dancing and thought yum!.
The movie stars Channing Tatum in a story inspired by his real life. There is not much of a story.
The movies’ Dance scenes were laughable. Channing Tatum made the other actors look piss poor. They were going thru the motions, off beat and pretty stiff.(and I don’t mean woody). Somebody needed to call Paula Abdul for some dance moves.
Here is the story in short, Tatum plays a poor stripper, who happens to also work construction ,saving to one day fulfill his dream of having a custom built furniture company of his very own. The film follows Mike (Tatum) as he takes a young dancer called The Kid (Pettyfer) under his wing and schools him in the fine arts of partying, picking up women, and making easy money.
Let me breakdown the characters; Matthew Mc Conaughey plays Dallas. His character was more Johnny deep, doing captain Jack sober, with a touch of early prince. (Well, he did show his butt cheeks. )
Next, we have Matt Bomer who was the too peppy, no dancing, white guy whose stripping that left me wanting to go home.(ok, he had a nice smile). I mean I wanted to find him a blanket and call 911. MAN LIMP!MAN LIMP!
On to the Scarier side, Alex Pettyfer who played the kid. The words dancing and Pettyfer should never appear in the same sentence together. NEVER! NO, Dry humping is not dancing, it’s dry humping or grinding. When R. Kelly said there ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, he wasn’t talking about YOU! Now sit down and don’t get back up.
Next, we have Joe Manganiello aka Big Dick Richie, There was a scene which showed "Big Dick "Richie’s trouser monkey being tortured by way of an extender. This poor abused member filled a portion of the scene. DUDE! It is against the law to torture helpless animals, now somebody needs to add trouser monkey's to the list. Manfaniello,don’t quit your day job. Frankly, you ride Sookie on True Blood with less effort!
Besides, it’s not the size that truly matters, it’s the size of the heart of the man which is most important.
To Steven Soderbergh who directed this lack luster movie. If this was Channing Tatum’s inspired story, then tell the story. This movie for me was superficial b***sh*t. Drugs were touched on, but without real conquest. What message does the movie send about drugs and stripping? There were no female stockers? There were no college students dancing to pay off their student loans, nor a son who dances to pay off his mother’s medical bills.(real talk) No full Monty’s. And most regrettably, no jobs given to all the talented male dancers who can really dance and strip.
T Portlock
review
My bff and I went to check out what we hoped to be a entertaining movie. We had seen the Magic Mike trailers with all these handsome men dancing and thought yum!.
The movie stars Channing Tatum in a story inspired by his real life. There is not much of a story.
The movies’ Dance scenes were laughable. Channing Tatum made the other actors look piss poor. They were going thru the motions, off beat and pretty stiff.(and I don’t mean woody). Somebody needed to call Paula Abdul for some dance moves.
Here is the story in short, Tatum plays a poor stripper, who happens to also work construction ,saving to one day fulfill his dream of having a custom built furniture company of his very own. The film follows Mike (Tatum) as he takes a young dancer called The Kid (Pettyfer) under his wing and schools him in the fine arts of partying, picking up women, and making easy money.
Let me breakdown the characters; Matthew Mc Conaughey plays Dallas. His character was more Johnny deep, doing captain Jack sober, with a touch of early prince. (Well, he did show his butt cheeks. )
Next, we have Matt Bomer who was the too peppy, no dancing, white guy whose stripping that left me wanting to go home.(ok, he had a nice smile). I mean I wanted to find him a blanket and call 911. MAN LIMP!MAN LIMP!
On to the Scarier side, Alex Pettyfer who played the kid. The words dancing and Pettyfer should never appear in the same sentence together. NEVER! NO, Dry humping is not dancing, it’s dry humping or grinding. When R. Kelly said there ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, he wasn’t talking about YOU! Now sit down and don’t get back up.
Next, we have Joe Manganiello aka Big Dick Richie, There was a scene which showed "Big Dick "Richie’s trouser monkey being tortured by way of an extender. This poor abused member filled a portion of the scene. DUDE! It is against the law to torture helpless animals, now somebody needs to add trouser monkey's to the list. Manfaniello,don’t quit your day job. Frankly, you ride Sookie on True Blood with less effort!
Besides, it’s not the size that truly matters, it’s the size of the heart of the man which is most important.
To Steven Soderbergh who directed this lack luster movie. If this was Channing Tatum’s inspired story, then tell the story. This movie for me was superficial b***sh*t. Drugs were touched on, but without real conquest. What message does the movie send about drugs and stripping? There were no female stockers? There were no college students dancing to pay off their student loans, nor a son who dances to pay off his mother’s medical bills.(real talk) No full Monty’s. And most regrettably, no jobs given to all the talented male dancers who can really dance and strip.
